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My wife said she wanted to be treated like a princess. So, I married her off to a stranger to strengthen diplomatic relations.
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Marriage is finding that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
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My wife told me I should embrace my mistakes. So, I hugged her. That's how I got married!
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I asked my wife what she wanted for our anniversary. She said, 'Nothing would make her happier than a diamond necklace.' So, I got her nothing.
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Why do married people live longer? Because they can't argue with their spouse if they're dead tired!
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I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, she said yes—about me doing the dishes, taking out the trash, and cleaning the house!
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