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Marrying you is like a never-ending game of "Where are my keys?" Except now, it's "Where did I leave my phone, wallet, and sanity?
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Why is it that the longer you're married, the more excited you get about the little things? Like when your spouse announces they unloaded the dishwasher without being asked. It's like winning the lottery!
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Marrying you is a lot like assembling furniture from that popular Swedish store. It starts with excitement, turns into confusion, and by the end, there's a good chance you've misplaced a couple of screws.
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You ever notice that planning a wedding is like trying to coordinate a military operation? "We need the florists here at 0900 hours, the cake reinforcements by noon, and don't forget the bridesmaids' tactical makeup squad!
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Marrying you is like a perpetual game of hide and seek. You hide your flaws in the beginning, and then, over the years, it becomes a quest to seek out where you left your car keys, your favorite shirt, and occasionally, your sanity.
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You know you're officially married when "Netflix and chill" turns into "Netflix and argue about whose turn it is to pick the show." Ah, the real bonding experience.
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Marrying you is like a never-ending debate about the proper way to squeeze the toothpaste tube. I swear, if the fate of the world depended on it, we'd still be arguing over toothpaste etiquette.
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Do you ever feel like being married is having a live-in food critic? "Honey, your cooking is excellent, but it would be better with a little less salt and a touch more love.
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The key to a successful marriage is communication, they say. But sometimes it feels more like trying to decode ancient hieroglyphics when your spouse gives you that look, and you're just trying to figure out if it means "I love you" or "Did you forget to take out the trash again?
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