17 Jokes For Magician

Puns

Updated on: May 11 2025

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What did the magician say to the procrastinator? 'I'll make my next trick disappear – just like your deadlines!
I asked a magician if he could make me taller. He said, 'Sorry, I'm not a wizard, I'm just good at stretching the truth!
Why did the magician turn his friend into a chicken? Because he wanted to see eggstraordinary magic!
What's a magician's favorite type of party? A wand-erful one!
What's a magician's favorite type of humor? Punny business!
I tried to learn magic from a book, but it disappeared before I could turn the page. Must have been a vanishing spell.
What do you call a magician who makes breakfast? An 'egg-sapient' conjurer!

Magician's Love Potion

I tried a magician's love potion once. It promised passion and everlasting love. Spoiler alert: the only thing magical about it was how fast it made my date disappear. I guess it's true what they say – love can't be conjured up with just a wave of the wand.

Magician's Grocery Shopping

I asked a magician if he could help me with my grocery shopping. He said, Sure, I'll make the bill disappear. Well, turns out he wasn't kidding. I got home, opened my bags, and it was just an empty wallet and a note saying, Ta-da!

Dating a Magician

I once dated a magician. Everything seemed magical at first, but then I realized it was just sleight of hand. One minute he's saying sweet things, and the next, he's making my feelings disappear faster than you can say abracadabra. I guess love's just another trick up his sleeve.

Magician's Marriage Proposal

My friend's boyfriend proposed like a magician – got down on one knee, pulled out a ring, and said, Will you be my greatest illusion? She said yes, but little did she know, the disappearing act starts right after the wedding vows. Marriage: the grand finale of love, where commitment disappears!

Magician's Relationship Advice

Magicians love giving relationship advice. They say, It's all about keeping the spark alive. Well, thanks for the tip, but last time I checked, relationships don't come with a manual of card tricks and disappearing acts. Maybe that's why my love life's a bit of a disappearing act.

The Magician's Misdirection

You ever notice how magicians are like relationships? They promise you an incredible experience, but half the time, you're left wondering where the heck your watch went. And just like a magician's disappearing act, sometimes love disappears too – poof! Now you see it, now you're single.

Magician's Dating Advice

Magicians should start giving dating advice because they've mastered the art of misdirection. Imagine the pickup line: Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears. Smooth, right? Until you realize you're just one of the disappearing acts.

Magician vs. Technology

I saw a magician trying to compete with technology the other day. Dude, the only disappearing act I want to see is my ex's pictures when I delete them from my phone, not a rabbit pulled from a hat. Magicians, take note: you're not competing with Siri; you're competing with my therapist.

Magician in a Haunted House

I suggested to a magician friend that he should perform in a haunted house. I mean, think about it – if you're already making things disappear, might as well do it in a spooky setting. He said, Great idea! So now he's the only magician who can make ghosts jealous.

Magician's Breakup Excuse

I broke up with my magician boyfriend because he said relationships are like magic – they require slight of hand and a good disappearing act. I told him, I need a partner, not a Houdini in disguise. Abracadabra, he's single!

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