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What did the magician say to the procrastinator? 'I'll make my next trick disappear – just like your deadlines!
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I asked a magician if he could make me taller. He said, 'Sorry, I'm not a wizard, I'm just good at stretching the truth!
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Why did the magician turn his friend into a chicken? Because he wanted to see eggstraordinary magic!
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I tried to learn magic from a book, but it disappeared before I could turn the page. Must have been a vanishing spell.
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What do you call a magician who makes breakfast? An 'egg-sapient' conjurer!
Magician's Love Potion
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I tried a magician's love potion once. It promised passion and everlasting love. Spoiler alert: the only thing magical about it was how fast it made my date disappear. I guess it's true what they say – love can't be conjured up with just a wave of the wand.
Magician's Grocery Shopping
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I asked a magician if he could help me with my grocery shopping. He said, Sure, I'll make the bill disappear. Well, turns out he wasn't kidding. I got home, opened my bags, and it was just an empty wallet and a note saying, Ta-da!
Dating a Magician
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I once dated a magician. Everything seemed magical at first, but then I realized it was just sleight of hand. One minute he's saying sweet things, and the next, he's making my feelings disappear faster than you can say abracadabra. I guess love's just another trick up his sleeve.
Magician's Marriage Proposal
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My friend's boyfriend proposed like a magician – got down on one knee, pulled out a ring, and said, Will you be my greatest illusion? She said yes, but little did she know, the disappearing act starts right after the wedding vows. Marriage: the grand finale of love, where commitment disappears!
Magician's Relationship Advice
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Magicians love giving relationship advice. They say, It's all about keeping the spark alive. Well, thanks for the tip, but last time I checked, relationships don't come with a manual of card tricks and disappearing acts. Maybe that's why my love life's a bit of a disappearing act.
The Magician's Misdirection
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You ever notice how magicians are like relationships? They promise you an incredible experience, but half the time, you're left wondering where the heck your watch went. And just like a magician's disappearing act, sometimes love disappears too – poof! Now you see it, now you're single.
Magician's Dating Advice
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Magicians should start giving dating advice because they've mastered the art of misdirection. Imagine the pickup line: Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears. Smooth, right? Until you realize you're just one of the disappearing acts.
Magician vs. Technology
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I saw a magician trying to compete with technology the other day. Dude, the only disappearing act I want to see is my ex's pictures when I delete them from my phone, not a rabbit pulled from a hat. Magicians, take note: you're not competing with Siri; you're competing with my therapist.
Magician in a Haunted House
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I suggested to a magician friend that he should perform in a haunted house. I mean, think about it – if you're already making things disappear, might as well do it in a spooky setting. He said, Great idea! So now he's the only magician who can make ghosts jealous.
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