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Salads are like the introverts of the food world. They're quiet, green, and usually hiding in the corner of the menu. "Lettuce pray nobody notices us," says the salad to the appetizers.
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I tried to impress someone by making them a salad once. I went all out with the fancy greens and toppings. As we sat down to eat, I said, "lettuce pray," and they looked at me like, "Is this salad blessed or just really well-dressed?
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There's a fine line between a salad and a sad excuse for a meal. I call it the "lettuce pray it's filling" stage. It's the only time you find yourself wishing a salad had fries on the side.
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Salad is the only food where you feel like you're doing penance for all the junk you've eaten. "Lettuce pray, forgive us our cheeseburgers, as we forgive those who have eaten pizza before us.
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Have you ever noticed that no one has ever said, "I had the most amazing salad last night!"? It's always something like, "I had the juiciest steak," or "This pizza was out of this world." Poor salads, always playing second fiddle. "Lettuce pray for a moment in the spotlight!
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I recently started growing my own lettuce in the backyard. I stand there every morning, looking at my little garden, and say, "Lettuce pray for growth, my leafy green friends. We're in this together.
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I went to a salad bar the other day, and as I was about to dig into my plate, a friend whispered, "lettuce pray." I thought we were just being healthy, but turns out, it was a silent plea for the croutons not to add any extra calories.
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You ever notice how salads are like the holy grail of healthy eating? I mean, "lettuce pray" every time we decide to order one, hoping it cancels out the entire week of pizza and ice cream.
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Ordering a salad for lunch feels like telling your taste buds, "Lettuce pray you survive this flavorless journey." It's like my tongue is on a vacation, and it didn't even get a postcard.
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