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You ever find yourself in those awkward situations where you're not sure whether to kneel or not? Like, you're at a friend's house, and they introduce you to their pet chihuahua named King Fluffy, and they're like, "Oh, he's the ruler of the house, you must kneel before him!" And you're there thinking, "Do I really kneel for a chihuahua?" But you end up doing it anyway because, well, peer pressure. And then King Fluffy just looks at you like, "Why is this human bowing to me? I just peed on the carpet." I'm telling you, navigating the world of kneeling etiquette is more confusing than trying to figure out which way the toilet paper should hang.
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You know, I recently saw this trend where people are proposing in these over-the-top, extravagant ways. Have you seen those? They're like, "Oh, let's propose on top of a mountain," or "Let's propose in the middle of Times Square!" And I'm just here thinking, why can't we bring it back to basics? Keep it simple, you know? But then, it hit me. Why don't we just combine the two? How about proposing while kneeling, but not in the romantic sense? I mean, imagine this: you're in a fancy restaurant, you drop your fork, and suddenly you're on one knee, proposing to your fork like, "Will you be my utensil forever?" I think it's time we start proposing to inanimate objects too. They deserve love!
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You know, technology is advancing at an insane rate. Soon enough, we'll have gadgets that'll make us kneel too. I can imagine it now. You're sitting on the couch, watching TV, and suddenly your smart TV sends a notification: "New software update available. Please kneel for 5 minutes to install." Or worse, your phone's voice assistant starts getting bossy. "I'm sorry, I can't search the internet for you until you perform three genuflections and a perfect curtsy." Pretty soon, we'll have self-driving cars that won't move until you kneel in front of them and say a little prayer for a safe journey. Technology is great, but I draw the line at genuflecting to my microwave just to heat up a burrito!
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Kneeling seems to be the new fad, doesn't it? I mean, first, it was the proposal thing, then it moved on to sports players taking a knee, and now it's like everyone's getting in on it. But here's the thing, I'm a bit confused. When did kneeling become such a statement? Are we gonna start seeing people kneeling in supermarkets, asking for discounts? "Excuse me, can I get a discount on this loaf of bread if I kneel?" And what about at work? "Boss, I finished those reports early, can I get a raise?" kneels
It's like we're slowly turning into a society of kneelers. Next thing you know, we'll be doing the hokey-pokey and turning ourselves around on our knees!
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