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The Protest Organizer
Dealing with participants who want to kneel but have bad knees.
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Some protesters were so dedicated; they tried to kneel through the pain. It looked less like a demonstration and more like an audition for a new interpretive dance about arthritis.
The Yoga Enthusiast
Trying to impress your yoga instructor with your kneeling prowess.
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The instructor said, "Find your inner peace while kneeling." I found it, alright – right after I realized my shoelaces were untied, and I tripped over my own enlightenment.
The Relationship Expert
When your partner insists on proposing with a surprise kneeling gesture.
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My partner said, "Let's take our relationship to the next level." I didn't realize they meant literally. Now we're on Level 2 of the relationship video game, and I have no idea what power-up comes next.
The Overzealous Fan
When your favorite sports team asks you to kneel during the national anthem.
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I kneeled so hard during the anthem; I'm pretty sure I proposed to my girlfriend by accident. She said yes, but I was just trying to be a team player.
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