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Why did the child bring a ladder to the bar? Because he wanted to reach for the stars!
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Why did the child bring a pencil to bed? In case he wanted to draw some ZZZs!
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Why did the kid bring a backpack to dinner? Because he wanted to have a packed meal!
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Why did the scarecrow become a successful parent? Because he was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the child bring a pillow to the restaurant? Because he wanted to have a comfortable seat at the table!
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Why did the kid bring a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
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Why did the child bring a broom to the playground? Because he wanted to sweep the swings!
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It's like living with a bunch of tiny truth detectors. 'Mom, Dad said he's the boss, but I heard him asking you if he can have pizza for dinner!' Kids, the real-life polygraph test we never knew we needed.
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Kids have a sixth sense for parental vulnerability. 'Mom, Dad said he was the best cook in the world, but I saw him burn toast yesterday!' Thanks, junior, for exposing my culinary masterpiece.
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Living with kids is like having a live-in comedy roaster. 'Mom, Dad thinks he's the king of fixing things, but remember when he tried to assemble that IKEA shelf?' Ah, the joys of parenthood – where your DIY skills are critiqued by an audience that can't even reach the top shelf.
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I've realized kids are like little informants in a household spy network. They gather intel throughout the day and then drop truth bombs at the most inconvenient times. 'Dad, guess what? Mom says you snore louder than a chainsaw!' Thanks, kiddo, I was hoping to keep my lumberjack impressions a secret.
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I've come to the conclusion that kids are undercover agents sent by the Parental Oversight Bureau. 'Dad, you know that diet you're on? Mom caught you sneaking cookies at midnight!' So much for my covert cookie operation.
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I've realized that kids are the ultimate whistleblowers in the family dynamic. 'Mom, Dad confessed he doesn't know how to change the vacuum cleaner bag!' Well, sweetheart, it's not rocket science; it's just a bag of dust and regrets.
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Kids have this knack for turning innocent conversations into full-blown confessions. 'Daddy, why did you tell Mommy you were at work when you were really watching cat videos on the internet?' Well, sweetheart, I didn't think my alibi would be cross-examined by a five-year-old detective.
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Kids are like walking lie detectors, programmed to expose any shred of parental hypocrisy. 'Dad, you told me to eat my vegetables, but I saw you hiding Brussels sprouts in the napkin!' Touche, my little veggie vigilante, touche.
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Kids are like tiny diplomats negotiating with their parents. 'Mom, Dad said you have a secret chocolate stash!' It's the Cold War of snacks in our house, and the kids are the ones leaking classified information. Forget WikiLeaks; we've got 'WeeLeaks' happening right here.
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Kids have this uncanny ability to tell their parents exactly what they don't want them to know. It's like having a walking, talking surveillance system in your own home. 'Mom, did you know that Dad once ate a whole pint of ice cream in one sitting?' Congratulations, kid, you just ratted out your father for the crime of indulgence.
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