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I told my friend I was on a keto diet, and they asked if I missed bread. I said, 'Not at all, I'm living my best loaf!
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What did the keto dieter say when their friend suggested a pizza party? 'Sorry, I can't make it – I'm already booked for a cauliflower crust seminar!
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I tried making keto ice cream, but it's so hard to scoop that even the spoon said, 'I'm not cut out for this!
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I told my friend I was on a keto diet, and they asked if that meant I only ate 'keto-nuts.' I replied, 'No, just trying to be almonds away from being fabulous!
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I tried making keto pancakes, but they were so flat that even the syrup said, 'I'm not sticking around for this!
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What did one avocado say to the other at the keto party? 'You're pit-tifully funny!
Keto Confusion
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You know, I tried this keto diet everyone's raving about. But after a week, I was so confused. I mean, they say you can't have carbs, but then they're like, Eat avocados! I'm just standing in the grocery store like, Is this an avocado or a green carbohydrate grenade?
Keto and the Bread Basket
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They brought a bread basket to my table at the restaurant. I looked at it longingly, and the waiter said, Sorry, no can do on keto. I replied, Well, can you bring it here so I can at least smell the memories?
Keto Support Group
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I joined a keto support group, thinking it would help me stay on track. But all we do is sit around and share our keto cheat fantasies. I dreamt I was swimming in a pool of spaghetti last night. It's like carb therapy, minus the therapy!
Keto Dreams
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Last night, I had a dream that I was surrounded by a sea of donuts. I was reaching out for them, and suddenly, my dream turned into an episode of Nailed It where even my subconscious can't get keto right!
Keto at a Buffet
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They say life is a buffet, but on keto, it's more like a buffet during a famine. I'm scanning the options, and all I see are salads and meats. Where's the carb corner? Oh, it's next to the unicorn steak – not happening!
Keto and the Carb Whisperer
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I asked my friend, who's a keto expert, for advice. He said, Listen to your body; it'll tell you what it needs. So, my body speaks, and it's like, Bring back the carbs, buddy! Turns out, my body is a carb whisperer.
Keto vs. My Willpower
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Keto is like trying to resist temptation on a whole new level. I see a piece of chocolate cake, and my brain's like, Remember your goals! But my heart's like, Remember how delicious chocolate is!
Keto Cheat Day
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They say everyone deserves a cheat day. So, I had a keto cheat day, and let me tell you, I cheated so hard that even my scale sent me a breakup text. It's like, We need some space, and by space, I mean inches away from you!
Keto and Social Life
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So, I'm on keto, right? And my friends invite me out for pizza. I go, and they're all enjoying their slices, and I'm just sitting there with a salad. I felt like I brought a lawnmower to a hair salon – completely out of place!
Keto and Grocery Shopping
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Grocery shopping on keto is like navigating a car through a traffic jam of forbidden foods. You're swerving past aisles, trying not to make eye contact with the potato chips. It's a low-carb maze, and the exit is a checkout counter with kale chips.
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