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My friend said, 'Beware the Ides of March.' I said, 'I'd rather beware of Mondays. At least Caesar only got it once a year.'
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My alarm clock betrayed me on the Ides of March. I asked it to wake me up gently, and it went full Brutus on me. Note to self: Don't trust anything with a snooze button.
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I thought 'Ides' was short for 'Ideal Dates.' Turns out, it's just a fancy way of saying, 'Watch your back around mid-March.' Thanks, Caesar, for the heads up.
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I tried to use the Ides as an excuse for being late to work. Boss wasn't impressed. Apparently, 'Sorry, I got caught up in ancient Roman history' doesn't fly. Who knew?
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I decided to throw an Ides of March party. You know, just a casual get-together with friends, snacks, and the occasional backstabbing. It's like a toga party, but with more betrayal.
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I was gonna make an 'Ides of March' calendar, but I realized it would only have one date. Talk about a limited edition. I guess that's the Roman equivalent of a flash sale.
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I thought the Ides were a new fancy fitness trend. 'Yeah, I do cardio on the Ides, and then I indulge on the Nones.' Turns out, it's just a date. My bad.
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The Ides of March, you know, the day Julius Caesar got betrayed? I can relate – every month, my paycheck stabs me in the back just like Brutus. Et tu, Direct Deposit?
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I told my boss I needed the Ides of March off for personal reasons. They said, 'You can't just take a random day off.' I replied, 'It's not random; it's historically significant.' I got the day off. Thanks, Julius!
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