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Coffee Mug's Perspective
The existential dread of being constantly filled and emptied, never finding true purpose
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My existential crisis kicks in every time someone leaves me with that last sip of lukewarm coffee. I'm like, "Is this all there is to life? A lukewarm farewell?" I need a support group for discarded coffee mugs.
Pets' Perspective
The humiliation of being dressed in ridiculous outfits by humans
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My human insists on calling me a "fur baby." I'm like, "I might be a baby, but I can guarantee I won't be asking for a college fund anytime soon. Just throw the ball, and we're good.
Office Plants' Perspective
The existential crisis of being stuck in a dull office environment
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The other day, someone walked by and said, "That plant looks sad." I'm not sad; I'm just stuck in a midlife crisis surrounded by cubicles. If I had arms, I'd be reaching for the classifieds.
Traffic Lights' Perspective
Dealing with the constant pressure of making split-second decisions for impatient drivers
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Sometimes I feel like I'm the therapist for the intersection. Cars are rushing in from all directions, and I'm there thinking, "Am I the only one who went to traffic light therapy school?
Smartphone's Perspective
The constant fear of being dropped and shattered by clumsy humans
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They say I have a sleek design, but all I can think about is, "What if they give me to their toddler to play with?" I'm not a toy; I'm a delicate piece of technology. Treat me like a Fabergé egg, not a Frisbee!
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