17 Jokes For Headstone

Puns

Updated on: Apr 21 2025

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I tried to make a headstone joke about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
I told my friend I'm getting a solar-powered headstone. He asked, 'Why?' I said, 'It's eternal energy!
I asked the headstone if it was heavy. It said, 'Yeah, it's a grave matter.
Why did the headstone go to therapy? It had too many deep issues.
I used to be a baker, but now I'm into the tombstone business. I make a killing!
I asked the headstone salesman if business was booming. He said, 'It has its ups and downs!
I'm thinking of opening a headstone cleaning service. It's a grave business, but someone has to do it!

Headstone Envy

I was at the cemetery the other day, and I saw this massive headstone. It was so big; I thought it was a memorial for a superhero. I mean, if I'm gonna rest in peace, I want a headstone so impressive that even other ghosts are like, Dang, wish I had that one!

When Ghosts Get Competitive

You ever worry that when you're a ghost, you'll be judged by your headstone? Like, Oh, here comes Casper with his little, friendly headstone. Look at Dave, he's got the deluxe edition with LED lights and a holographic dance party on top.

Ghosts' Got Talent

Imagine if ghosts had talent competitions for the best haunting techniques. One ghost is like, I can make lights flicker, and another is like, Oh yeah? Well, check out my headstone—it plays the Ghostbusters theme on a loop!

Post-Mortem Real Estate

You know the real estate saying, Location, location, location? Well, in the afterlife, it's all about Plot, plot, plot. I want a prime plot, like right next to Shakespeare or something. I'll be the ghost with literary street cred!

Eternal Spelling Bee

Imagine being a ghost and realizing they misspelled your name on the headstone. You're stuck haunting people, and they can't even get your name right! Ghost problems: not just for the living.

The Ghostly Architect

They should have a show called Extreme Headstone Makeover. A ghost designer comes in, adds some cobwebs, a few bats, maybe a trapdoor to the afterlife. Boom! Your grave is now the talk of the cemetery.

Graveyard Gossip

I overheard two ghosts gossiping the other day. One said, Did you see Sheila's new headstone? It's got real marble! Ghosts judging each other for the quality of their eternal resting places—classic cemetery drama.

The Yelp Reviews of the Afterlife

I bet ghosts leave headstone reviews for each other. Two stars, didn't scare anyone in weeks. Also, his headstone is so last century—no flair!

Haunted Headstone Haggling

I want my headstone to be a conversation piece. Like, people walking by, and they say, Wow, did you see that headstone? It's like the ghost version of a Black Friday deal—half off if you haunt with a friend!

The Mysterious Headstone

You ever notice how headstones always have the birth and death dates? Like, Bob Johnson, 1950-2010. I want a headstone that says, Bob Johnson, 1950-??? Leave 'em guessing! Maybe I'm just on vacation in the afterlife.

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