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My grandfather always said, 'When I die, I want my headstone to say, 'I told you I was old.
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My neighbor complained that my headstone jokes are too grave. I said, 'I'll try to bury them deeper.
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I told my wife I want a headstone that says, 'I told you I was sick.' She said, 'You're not dead yet!
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I considered becoming a headstone maker, but it was too much of a dead-end job.
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I accidentally knocked over a headstone in the cemetery. It was a grave mistake.
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Why did the headstone apply for a job? It wanted a steady job with grave responsibilities.
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