20 Jokes About Guys Being Jerks

Puns

Updated on: Jul 20 2024

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Why did the guy bring a flashlight to the party? Because he wanted to lighten up the mood!
Why did the guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the guy put his money in the blender? He wanted to make some liquid assets!
Why did the guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the guy break up with his calendar? He felt like his days were numbered.
Why did the guy bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
Why did the guy bring a map to the party? Because he wanted to find a way to be less lost in life!
Why did the guy bring a pencil to the party? Because he wanted to draw attention!

The Jerk Decoder

Ever needed a manual to understand a guy being a jerk? When a guy says 'I'm just being honest,' it's basically a jerk-to-English translation for 'I'm about to say something really rude.'

The Jerk's Guide to Romance

Guys being jerks think they’re smooth operators when it comes to dating. Hey, babe, are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got 'fine' written all over you... and I'd like to dispute it.

The Jerk’s Playlist

Guys being jerks have their own soundtrack. Their anthem? 'I Did It My Way'... with a chorus of 'and I didn't care who I annoyed along the way.'

Jerk Whisperers

You know those guys who think they know everything? They’re like walking encyclopedias of jerk knowledge. 'Actually, bro, let me mansplain why I’m right and you’re wrong.'

Jerk Level: Expert

Some guys reach expert level in being a jerk. They’re like, 'I can make a room uncomfortable faster than a soggy handshake.'

Jerkonomics 101

Guys being jerks have their own economy. I overheard these guys negotiating over paying for a round of drinks. They were more tight-fisted than a corporate budget meeting.

Jerk Tech Support

Imagine if there was tech support for guys being jerks. Press 1 if you want to escalate an argument unnecessarily. Press 2 if you want to mansplain your way out of trouble.

The Jerk Olympics

Guys trying to out-jerk each other is like a sport. I saw two dudes arguing over who got the last slice of pizza. They were closer to a gold medal in jerkiness than any Olympian I've seen.

Jerks Anonymous

You ever notice how some guys should be in a support group called Jerks Anonymous? Hi, I'm Dave, and I cut in line at the supermarket just to buy a pack of gum.

The Jerk’s Toolbox

Guys being jerks have their own set of tools. The 'I’m sorry but...' hammer and the 'It’s not my fault, but...' wrench – the essentials in the jerk’s toolkit.

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