10 Jokes About Guys Being Jerks

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jul 20 2024

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Guys being jerks at the grocery store – they treat the shopping cart like it's an armored vehicle, charging through the aisles like they're in a grocery store demolition derby. Watch out, we got a reckless driver in produce!
Guys and directions – it's like they're allergic to GPS. "No, babe, I got this. We don't need a map; I have a great sense of direction." Cut to an hour later when you're both lost in the middle of nowhere, and he's pretending he knows where he's going.
Why is it that when guys borrow your phone, they suddenly turn into investigative journalists scrolling through your photos? Dude, I asked you to check the time, not give me a detailed critique of my last selfie session.
Why do guys turn into secret agents when it's time to share their snacks? You offer them a chip, and suddenly they're calculating the angle, speed, and trajectory required to ensure the perfect, chip-to-mouth delivery.
Guys and remote controls – it's like they hold the power to the entire entertainment universe. "Oh, you want to watch a romantic comedy? How about this intense documentary on the history of shoelaces instead?" Guys, it's not a spaceship control panel; it's just a TV remote!
Guys being jerks in the kitchen – they treat a simple recipe like it's a rocket science experiment. "Add a pinch of salt? Well, I'll just eyeball it." Cue to a dish so salty it could preserve itself for the next century.
Guys being jerks at the gym – they're the ones who hoard all the weights like they're collecting rare Pokémon. Bro, you don't need six dumbbells; you need a reality check and maybe a smaller ego.
You ever notice how guys become instant mathematicians when it comes to splitting the bill? "Let's see, I had the salad, two bites of your fries, and a sip of your soda. So, I owe... a handshake?
Have you ever noticed that guys magically forget how to use a washing machine when they're asked to do laundry? It's like they believe tossing everything in together is the secret recipe for creating a tie-dye wardrobe.
Guys and their fashion advice – it's like having a personal walking, talking fashion police. "You're wearing that? Are you sure you want to go out in public looking like a trend disaster?" Well, buddy, I didn't ask for the runway critique.

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