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The Lawnmower Salesman
Trying to convince people that eating grass is the next big thing
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It's tough being a lawnmower salesman and a grass advocate. People look at me like I've lost my mind. I told my wife, "Honey, this is the future. Soon everyone will be mowing and munching. It's a multitasking marvel!
The Alien Visitor
Misunderstanding Earth's food culture, considering grass as the primary food source
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Trying to fit in at a barbecue was even worse. People were grilling burgers and hot dogs, and I was there with a handful of grass, thinking I was nailing the whole Earthling experience. Someone handed me a burger, and I whispered to it, "I'm sorry, but I'm a vegetarian. I only eat the lawn.
The Fitness Guru
Balancing the desire for a healthy diet with the odd looks from others for eating grass
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The struggle is real when you're at a dinner party, and people are enjoying their gourmet meals while you're sipping on grass juice. I overheard someone whisper, "Is he a cow in disguise?" I wanted to moo just to mess with them.
The Soccer Player
Contemplating whether to eat the grass on the field or not
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The struggle is real when you're on the field, and the grass looks more appetizing than the halftime oranges. I'm torn between being a team player and the potential benefits of a grass-fed athlete. Maybe it's the secret to Messi's success.
The Vegan Cow
Struggling with the temptation to eat grass
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The worst part about eating grass is explaining it to your friends. They're like, "Dude, why are you doing this?" And I'm like, "It's the new superfood. I'm on that lawn-maintenance diet. My stomach is like a lawnmower, one blade at a time.
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