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You ever get stuck behind a slow driver in the drive-thru? It's like they're trying to negotiate a peace treaty with the cashier. I'm sitting there thinking, "Come on, it's a drive-thru, not a drive-slow! We're not here for a philosophical discussion on the meaning of fries; we just want our burgers before they invent a new currency at the window!
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You ever get stuck behind someone who's driving so slow, you start to wonder if they're secretly training for the world's slowest getaway driver competition? I was behind this person the other day, and I swear I saw a family of snails passing us with judgmental looks. I was like, "Am I in a race, or did I accidentally join a parade for the 'Cautious and Careful' society?
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You know, I think my grandma is the secret mentor to all these slow drivers. She drives so slow; I once saw a pedestrian outrun her. I asked her, "Grandma, why are you driving like you just stole the car, but you want to make sure the owner doesn't notice?" She goes, "Oh, dear, I'm just enjoying the scenery." I told her, "Grandma, we're on the highway. The only scenery is the back of the car in front of us!
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I've figured it out, though. I think these slow drivers are actually strategic geniuses. They're playing life at 0.5x speed, like they've got a secret slow-motion button we don't know about. Maybe they're onto something. Imagine the stress-free life, where deadlines are just suggestions, and red lights are opportunities to catch up on your favorite podcast.
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