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Why did the doorman get an award? He had the key to making everyone feel welcome!
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Why did the doorman bring a ladder to work? He wanted to take his career to the next level!
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Why did the doorman become a chef? He knew how to handle the door-d'oeuvres!
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Why did the doorman become a motivational speaker? He knew how to open doors of opportunity!
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Why did the doorman become a gardener? Because he knew how to handle the entrance of the plants!
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Why did the doorman become a musician? He knew how to handle the 'key' notes!
Doorman Zen
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I tried to impress a doorman once by opening the door with flair. He just stared at me and said, This isn't a Broadway show; it's a revolving door. Save the theatrics for someone who tips in confetti.
The Doorman Jedi
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Doormen have this incredible power to make you feel invisible. I once held the door for someone, and he looked right through me like I was a force ghost. I thought I was being polite; turns out, I was just mastering the art of vanishing.
Doorman Diaries
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I tried tipping a doorman once, and he looked at me like I handed him a treasure map to Atlantis. I guess they're not in it for the riches; they're in it for the thrill of being the gatekeepers to the kingdom of late-night pizza deliveries.
Doorman Diplomacy
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Doormen are the unsung heroes of neighborhood diplomacy. They decide who gets in, who stays out, and who gets a VIP pass to the exclusive party of 3 a.m. microwave burritos.
Doorman or Mind Reader?
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Doormen have this uncanny ability to know exactly when you're debating whether to go inside or not. They lock eyes with you, and it's like they're saying, Come on, buddy, the night's not getting any younger, and neither are you.
The Doorman Oracle
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I asked a doorman for the secret to a happy life. He said, Always have your keys, know a good pizza place that delivers after midnight, and avoid anyone who argues with me about the dress code.
Doorman Doppelgängers
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Ever notice how doormen at different places have the same expression? It's like there's a secret doorman school where they teach them to look simultaneously unimpressed and judgmental. I want to enroll just to learn that face.
The Doorman's Playlist
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Doormen must have the patience of saints. They stand there, holding the door, listening to people argue about who gets to press the elevator button. It's like being a DJ, but instead of controlling the beats, they're controlling the awkwardness.
Doorman Detectives
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I asked a doorman once what the most common item people forget is. He said, Their keys, their wallets, and their dignity. Apparently, some nights are more forgettable than others.
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