10 Jokes For Doorman

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Mar 13 2025

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I tried to impress my doorman once by carrying all my groceries in one trip. He just looked at me and said, "You're not impressing anyone; you're just avoiding a second elevator ride.
Doormen are the kings of small talk. They can take the weather and turn it into a full-blown conversation. "Nice day, huh?" quickly turns into a 10-minute discussion about global warming.
My doorman is the only person who knows how often I order takeout. I walked in with a pizza the other day, and he said, "Back to your gourmet cooking, I see.
I told my doorman I was going to start working out more. He just raised an eyebrow and said, "Sure, you are. I'll believe it when I see it. I've seen your gym bag collect dust for months.
I asked my doorman if he's ever thought about writing a book with all the stories he must have. He said, "Nah, I'd have to call it 'The Chronicles of Lost Keys and Awkward Elevator Silence.'
I asked my doorman if he ever gets bored sitting there all day. He said, "Nah, it's like a live soap opera. I've got drama, comedy, and the occasional romance—all in a day's work.
I asked my doorman if he's ever caught anyone trying to sneak in without a key. He goes, "Oh yeah, I've seen people pull some Mission: Impossible moves. But, buddy, this is a studio apartment building, not a secret government facility.
My doorman is basically my unofficial life coach. I come home late, and he gives me that look like, "Really? Again? Maybe consider a night in, buddy.
My doorman once asked me if I had a spare key for emergencies. I said, "Sure, it's hidden under a potted plant." He just laughed and said, "Good luck finding that when you're locked out and it's pouring rain.
Doormen are the ultimate relationship experts. They see couples arguing, making up, and occasionally moving furniture in or out. It's like a real-time relationship reality show.

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