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I tried to declare my sense of humor on my taxes. The IRS said it was a depreciating asset.
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I wanted to declare my couch as a dependent, but it just couldn't support the claim.
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I tried to declare my jokes as a health hazard. They said laughter is the best medicine, not a deductible expense.
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I wanted to declare my jokes as a new currency, but they said it wasn't punny enough.
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I tried to declare my shoes as dependents, but the IRS said it was a soleless claim.
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Why did the pencil declare its love for the eraser? It wanted to make a point!
Declare
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You know, declaring something makes it official, right? Like, I declared I was going to start eating healthier... after polishing off an entire pizza. Turns out, my declarations have a delayed start date.
Declare
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People say, Declare your dreams, make them real! So, I declared I'd become a billionaire. Turns out, declaring it doesn’t magically fill up my bank account. Guess I'll have to declare bankruptcy instead.
Declare
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There’s power in declaration, they say. So, I declared I'd conquer my fear of public speaking. Now I just declare that I fear public speaking even more. Thanks, power of declaration, you're a real motivator!
Declare
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I decided to declare a new rule in my life: 'I declare to wake up early every day!' Yeah, well, the snooze button declared war on that declaration, and let’s just say, it’s winning by a landslide.
Declare
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I tried that whole 'declare your intentions to the universe' thing. I declared I wanted a beach body. The universe responded with, That’s great, here's a beach ball! Well, played, universe, well played.
Declare
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Ever notice how people 'declare' they're going on a diet but end up declaring their love for donuts instead? I mean, I'll declare my diet starts Monday, but somehow Monday's been pushed to next month. It’s all about declaring intentions, not actions!
Declare
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I've learned that when you declare something, it's like sending a memo to the universe. Sadly, my memos seem to get lost in the universe's spam folder along with all my gym membership renewal notices.
Declare
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I declared I'd become a morning person. Well, let's just say I must have declared that in my sleep because I still hit the snooze button so hard it's a miracle my alarm clock hasn’t filed for worker’s compensation.
Declare
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You know, declaring something is like making a promise to yourself, except it’s a promise that’s easier to break than those cookies I declared I wouldn’t touch. Seriously, my declarations have less sticking power than a Post-it note in a rainstorm.
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