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Grieving Family Member
Coping with loss while navigating the challenges of funeral planning
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When the funeral director showed us the catalog, I half-expected a "Build Your Own Casket" section. Maybe choose the wood finish, add some custom decals, and throw in a cup holder for good measure. Because nothing says love like a personalized resting place.
Cemetery Groundskeeper
Dealing with peculiar burial requests and maintaining the serenity of the cemetery
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Someone wanted their pet parrot buried with them, and the parrot had to recite Shakespeare during the ceremony. I thought, "This isn't Hamlet, and your parrot isn't Yorick. But who am I to deny a bird its stage debut?
Casket Salesperson
Balancing the sensitivity of the situation with the need to sell caskets
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A guy wanted a casket with a sunroof. I thought, "Are you planning on catching some rays in the afterlife? Maybe working on your eternal tan? Last time I checked, the sun doesn't reach six feet underground.
Funeral Director
Dealing with demanding clients and their unique requests
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Someone once asked if we could make the casket float on water. I had to break it to them gently that this is a funeral, not a magical journey to the afterlife on the Titanic.
Ghost of the Deceased
Observing the drama and chaos surrounding funeral arrangements from the afterlife
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The upside of being a ghost is that I can attend my own funeral. The downside is trying not to scream, "It's not a fashion show, Aunt Edna! Stop critiquing the wardrobe choices around my casket!
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