bestTrending Topics
Joke Types
0
0
If forever alone had an Olympics, I'd be the gold medalist in third-wheeling. I'm so good at it; couples invite me just to witness their relationship in its natural habitat. "And here we have the majestic couple, gracefully ignoring the solo spectator." I've become an expert at making small talk while two people gaze into each other's eyes. "So, uh, any thoughts on the weather? No? Cool, cool." It's like being the extra in someone else's rom-com, and my only role is to provide comic relief with my awkwardness.
But you know what they say, if life gives you lemons, at least you can use them to garnish the drink you're sipping alone at the bar while your friends go on double dates.
0
0
You ever notice how the term "forever alone" sounds like a tragic love story, but for some of us, it's more of a lifestyle choice? I mean, it's not like I planned to be the James Bond of loneliness, but here I am, saving the world from any potential romantic entanglements. You know you're deep into the forever alone lifestyle when even your mirror starts giving you the cold shoulder. I tried to spice things up, put on my best outfit, and asked myself out on a date. Mirror-me said no. That's when you know it's bad.
The other day, someone asked me how my love life is going. I told them, "Well, my idea of a wild night is choosing a different flavor of tea before settling in for a Netflix marathon." The only action I get is hitting the 'Next Episode' button.
0
0
I recently decided to give dating apps a shot. I thought, "Why not let technology find me a soulmate?" Little did I know, the algorithm seems to think my soulmate is a bag of potato chips. Thanks, but I was hoping for someone a bit more human. Have you ever swiped right so much you start feeling like a directionless GPS? "Turn right for loneliness in 500 feet." It's like playing a real-life game of Where's Waldo, but instead of finding Waldo, you're searching for someone willing to endure your terrible puns.
And don't get me started on the bios. Some people say they're looking for love; I'm just looking for someone who won't judge me for spending hours talking to my houseplants. At least they don't ghost me.
0
0
I decided to embrace my forever alone status with a solo travel adventure. You know you're committed to the forever alone lifestyle when your travel photos look like a one-man paparazzi chasing nobody. I went to the Eiffel Tower and asked someone to take a photo of me. They looked around and said, "Where's your partner?" I pointed at the empty space next to me and said, "Right here, in the invisible realm of singledom."
I even tried to reenact the famous scene from Titanic on a cruise, but it turns out, it's not as romantic when you're both playing the Jack and Rose roles. Let's just say my solo rendition of "My Heart Will Go On" didn't win me any admirers.
Post a Comment