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Average speed is the only thing that makes me feel like I'm in a competition I didn't sign up for. I'm just trying to live my life, and my Fitbit is over there judging me like, "You call that a step?
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Average speed is like the unsung hero of our lives. We don't brag about it, but it's always there, quietly determining how long it takes us to get from the couch to the fridge. Spoiler alert: I'm breaking personal records every snack time.
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You ever notice how when someone asks about your average speed, they're not talking about your driving or running? No one's ever asked, "Hey, what's your average speed when you're grocery shopping? Because I think I just broke the land-speed record in aisle 3.
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My doctor asked me about my average speed during exercise. I told him it's more of a "casual stroll" pace. You know, the kind of pace where you're not sure if you're exercising or just taking a leisurely tour of the neighborhood.
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My fitness app asked for my average speed during a workout. I told it, "Well, it's somewhere between 'I regret every life choice' and 'Why did I think I could do this?'" Let's just say, I'm not breaking any speed barriers.
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Calculating average speed feels like an adulting superpower. Who needs capes when you can estimate the time it takes to do everything? Move over, Superman; I can tell you exactly how long it takes to microwave popcorn.
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They say life is a journey, not a destination. But have you ever noticed how your GPS doesn't care about the journey when it constantly reminds you about your average speed? It's like, "Yeah, yeah, I'm taking the scenic route, leave me alone!
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They say time flies when you're having fun, but have you ever noticed that it also flies when you're stuck in a conversation about someone else's average speed? It's like the seconds are doing a marathon and sprinting away.
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I love how technology tracks our average speed like it's the most important thing in the world. My phone acts like it's training for the Olympics, giving me updates on my "performance." I just want to remind it that I'm not an athlete; I'm an excellent napper.
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