5 Jokes For Astrologer

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Sep 01 2024

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The Time-Traveling Astrologer

Predicting yesterday's horoscope
I asked the astrologer about my past mistakes. She said, "Blame it on the alignment of Jupiter and your questionable life choices." Well, at least I have a celestial scapegoat.

The Astrologer Detective

Searching for the missing constellation
I asked the astrologer detective about my health. She said, "You might experience planetary retrogrades in your digestive system." I think I'll stick to regular check-ups.

The Astrologer Comedian

Making the stars laugh
I asked the astrologer comedian if she could predict my laughter. She said, "Only if your sense of humor is written in the constellations. Let me consult the Comedy Galaxy for you.

The Literal Astrologer

Taking everything too literally
I told the astrologer I'm feeling a bit lost in life. She said, "Don't worry, the universe has your back." I appreciate the cosmic support, but I was hoping for a GPS coordinate.

The Skeptic Astrologer

Trying to make sense of nonsense
I asked the astrologer if she could predict the lottery numbers. She said, "No, but I can tell you when Mercury is in retrograde, and you should avoid signing contracts." Great, I'll just pay my bills with cosmic energy.

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