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Why did the paintbrush apply for a job? It wanted to brush up on its plastering skills!
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Why did the paint can refuse therapy? It didn't want to open up about its feelings – too plastered to share!
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Why did the paint can go to therapy? It had issues with letting things dry and move on. It was too plastered in the past!
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Why did the wall get plastered? It couldn't handle life's rough patches!
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I tried to make a joke about construction, but I'm still working on that one. It's a bit plastered in development.
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I asked my friend to explain the concept of plaster. He said, 'It's a wall thing.
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I accidentally stepped on some wet cement. Now I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, quite literally plastered!
Plastered Time Traveler
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When I'm plastered, I become a time traveler. I wake up the next day, and it's like I've been transported to an alternate reality. I've got receipts from places I don't remember, and my wallet looks like a souvenir shop from the past. Time travel is real, folks, and it's fueled by alcohol.
Plastered Detective
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I become a detective when I'm plastered – Sherlock Combs, they call me. I start investigating the mysteries of the night, like who stole my dignity and where did my car keys go? Spoiler alert: I'm usually the culprit behind both crimes.
Plastered Chef
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Ever tried cooking while plastered? It's like a culinary adventure with a splash of chaos. I attempted to make spaghetti, but by the time I was done, it looked like a crime scene in a pasta factory. My kitchen is now a crime scene, and I'm the suspect – the drunken chef strikes again!
Plastered GPS
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Being plastered is like having your internal GPS malfunction. I tried to get home, but my drunk GPS insisted on taking me through the scenic route, which happened to be the neighbor's garden. I guess I'm now the proud owner of a new lawn ornament – intoxicated gnome, they call it.
The Great Wall of Plastered
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You ever get so drunk that your friends start calling you The Great Wall of Plastered? I mean, I've built a reputation as the eighth wonder of the world. People come from miles around just to witness the architectural masterpiece that is me after a few drinks.
Drunk Charades
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You know you're truly plastered when your attempts at playing charades turn into a one-man interpretive dance of confusion. Last time I played, my friends thought I was reenacting the entire history of mankind, from the caveman days to space exploration. Who knew that a simple game could turn into a Broadway production?
Plastered Philosophy
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You know you're truly plastered when you start contemplating life's deepest questions, like, Why is there no 'W' in 'drunk'? I mean, I spent a whole evening pondering linguistic mysteries instead of focusing on walking straight. Clearly, alcohol not only impairs your judgment but also your grasp on the alphabet.
Plastered Karaoke Star
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I turn into a karaoke sensation when I'm plastered. I belt out tunes like I'm auditioning for a Broadway musical, even though my vocal range is more like a cat being strangled. Hey, at least the audience gets a good laugh – whether it's with me or at me, I'm not sure.
Plastered Picasso
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I woke up after a wild night out and found my face looking like a masterpiece painted by a drunk Picasso. Apparently, in my intoxicated state, I thought I could improve my facial features with a touch of abstract art. Now I've got friends asking if my face is an avant-garde statement or just a cry for help.
Plastered Fortune Teller
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I must be a fortune teller when I'm plastered because I predict I'll regret all my life choices tomorrow morning. It's like I have a crystal ball, but instead of seeing the future, I see a blurry vision of me making questionable decisions. I should start charging admission for my intoxicated insights.
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