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You ever notice how people without friends are basically the stealth ninjas of social events? They can sneak in and out without anyone noticing. "Wait, was Dave here? I didn't see him." Yeah, Dave's been perfecting the art of the unnoticed exit since '98.
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People without friends are the silent philosophers of the world. They ponder life's deepest questions without anyone to bounce ideas off of. "If a tree falls in a forest and there's no one around to hear it, does it still make a sound?" Well, if there's no one around, who cares?
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You know you're in trouble when the only notifications on your phone are from the "Screen Time" app. People without friends have that app on lockdown. "Congratulations! You spent 12 hours on your phone this week. On the bright side, you're one step closer to achieving introvert enlightenment.
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People without friends have a unique approach to birthdays. Instead of a party, they celebrate with a self-reflection session. "Ah, another year of solitude. Cheers to me and my magnificent loner existence!
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People without friends are the real-life hide-and-seek champions. You ask them to join a game, and they're like, "I've been training for this my whole life!" It's like trying to find a needle in a haystack, but the needle doesn't want to be found.
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People without friends are the unsung heroes of group projects. They've mastered the art of going solo. While the rest of us are arguing about who's the leader, they've already completed the entire project, sent it to the professor, and moved on with their friendless lives.
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People without friends are the true DIY enthusiasts. They've mastered the art of self-entertainment. Board games? Solo. Movie night? Solo. Karaoke? You guessed it, solo. They're like the one-person band of loneliness, and they play the tambourine of solitude like no one else.
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Have you ever tried making plans with someone who claims they have no friends? It's like scheduling a meeting with a secret agent. "Can we meet at 3 PM on a bench in the park? And remember, if anyone asks, we're discussing the weather, not friendship.
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You ever notice how people without friends are the ultimate Yelp reviewers? They've reviewed every restaurant, every coffee shop, and every public restroom within a 10-mile radius. When you've got no one to share your experiences with, the internet becomes your best friend.
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