10 Jokes For Patient

Observational Jokes

Updated on: Jun 14 2024

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Waiting for the doctor is like participating in an unsanctioned staring contest with strangers. You're all just sitting there, trying not to make eye contact, but it's inevitable. And the winner gets the privilege of looking away first without being judged.
Doctors always ask you to be patient. Like, "Be patient, the doctor will see you shortly." How about a little reciprocity? I want to see a doctor who's patiently waiting for me for once. "Patient is on the way, doctor. Please hold.
Hospitals have this fascinating ability to make time stand still. I checked my watch before going in for a routine check-up, and when I came out, I swear I had aged like a president in office. I went in looking like Obama, came out feeling like Lincoln.
I tried to impress the nurse by guessing my weight before stepping on the scale. She just looked at me and said, "Sir, this is not 'The Price is Right.' Please step onto the scale.
You ever notice how waiting rooms have the most outdated magazines? I was at the doctor's office the other day reading a magazine from 2009. I felt like I was getting medical advice from a time traveler. "Apparently, in the future, kale is a thing.
You ever notice that the waiting room chairs are designed to be uncomfortable? It's like they're saying, "Hey, you might be sick, but we'll make sure your back feels worse.
The hardest decision in a doctor's office is choosing which pen to use when filling out the forms. It's like a life-altering decision. "Blue ink or black ink? The fate of your medical history hangs in the balance.
You ever notice how the pharmacy always puts the most tempting snacks and magazines right next to the line? It's like they're saying, "Congratulations on surviving your illness. Now, treat yourself to some overpriced chocolate.
Waiting at the pharmacy feels like being in a bizarre game show. "Will your prescription be ready in 20 minutes, 30 minutes, or an eternity? Stay tuned for the thrilling conclusion!
I love how doctors ask you to describe your pain on a scale of 1 to 10. Like, what if my pain feels like a solid 7.5, but my pain tolerance is a rock-solid 2? Is that like a pain paradox? "Doc, it's a 7.5, but I'm handling it like a champ... in my mind.

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