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The Disappointed Ghost
Upset about the lack of excitement and creativity in modern Ouija board sessions.
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If I were a ghost, I'd be haunting Ouija board sessions just to spice things up. "Dear mortals, instead of 'Yes' or 'No,' how about a ghostly dance-off? I've been practicing the Charleston for a hundred years!
Overenthusiastic Ghost Hunter
Constantly disappointed by the lack of ghostly activity during Ouija board sessions.
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Ghost hunting tip: If the Ouija board isn't working, try upgrading to the deluxe edition. It comes with a ghost DJ, snacks from the afterlife, and a holographic dance floor for when the spirits want to party.
Skeptical Friend at a Ouija Board Party
Trying to maintain skepticism in a room full of believers.
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My friends insisted the spirits were trying to communicate. I'm like, "If spirits really wanted to chat, they could at least upgrade to a touch screen. Swiping left on ghosts from the 1800s.
Ouija Board Customer Service Representative
Dealing with complaints from spirits about communication issues.
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I can imagine the ghostly complaints: "Dear Ouija customer service, every time I try to send a message, it ends up looking like a ghost had too much to drink. Can we get some autocorrect up in the afterlife?
Haunted Real Estate Agent
Trying to sell a haunted house with an active Ouija board.
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Selling a haunted house is tough. I told the potential buyers, "Don't worry about the eerie whispers in the hallway; it's just the ghosts having a book club. They're big fans of horror novels, surprisingly.
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