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Chuck Norris's beard has its own gravitational pull. My beard, on the other hand, just attracts crumbs.
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Chuck Norris once played Russian roulette with a fully loaded gun and won. I won a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors once, and I thought I was invincible for a week.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He pushes the Earth down. Meanwhile, I struggle to push myself up off the couch without grunting.
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You ever wonder about the origin of Chuck Norris? I mean, was he forged in the fires of a Texas barbecue pit or did he just roundhouse kick his way out of the womb?
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Chuck Norris's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. Because no one fools Chuck Norris on April Fools' Day.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice. Meanwhile, I struggle to count the number of donuts I've eaten without losing track halfway through.
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Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. I mean, can you imagine being the one to make Chuck Norris cry? It's like trying to make a stone statue emotional.
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Chuck Norris's blood type is AK-47. My blood type is more like a mix of coffee and pizza, probably.
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Chuck Norris can divide by zero. I can't even divide my restaurant bill equally without causing a heated debate.
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