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I told my bed that nobody loves me. It said, 'That's not true! I love you every night, especially when you bring snacks!
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I asked my phone if anyone loves me. It replied, 'I can't find a connection.' Well, at least it's honest about my social life!
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Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, just like my exes claiming they never loved me!
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Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems, just like my love life!
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I told my cat that nobody loves me. It looked at me and said, 'That's why I bring you dead animals – as a token of my sympathy!
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