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Why did the neglected broom quit its job? It was tired of always being swept under the rug and felt it deserved a clean break!
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Why did the neglectful gardener apply for a job? Because he wanted to get to the root of the problem!
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Why did the neglected piano sit alone in the corner? It felt nobody appreciated its key contributions to the musical ensemble of life!
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Why did the lazy computer neglect its updates? It couldn't find the motivation to hit the 'restart' button on its social life!
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Why did the neglected sock feel lonely? It couldn't find its 'sole' mate and felt it was stuck in a 'knotty' situation!
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Why did the neglected pencil refuse to write anymore? It felt too drawn out and wanted a point to its existence!
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Why did the forgetful baker's bread feel neglected? Because it was always left in the doughs of despair!
Neglecting Phone Etiquette
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I'm guilty of neglecting my phone so much that it's considering filing for emotional abandonment. It's like, Hey, remember when you used to call people? Now, it's just me and the 'Storage Almost Full' notification having a deep conversation about neglect and indifference. Spoiler alert: it's a one-sided conversation because I'm not listening.
Neglecting Grocery Shopping
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Grocery shopping is a battle between what I need and what I neglect. I go in with a list like, I need fruits, vegetables, and protein. But somehow, I always leave with a cart full of snacks, a couple of frozen pizzas, and a bag of something I can't even pronounce. My shopping list is neglected more than my New Year's resolutions.
Neglecting Selfies
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I've neglected taking selfies for so long that my camera roll is an archaeological site. The last time I checked, I had more pictures of my thumb than my face. I tried to take a selfie the other day, and my phone sent me a notification like, This user has exceeded the recommended selfie-free quota. Please delete some pictures of your lunch to make room for your face. Ouch, even my phone is throwing shade.
Neglectful Navigation
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My GPS is so used to me neglecting its advice that it's developed an attitude. It used to be like, In 500 feet, turn left. Now it's like, Oh, you're going right again? Sure, why not? It's not like I've been trying to help you for the past 10 minutes. I swear, if my GPS had a face, it would roll its eyes every time I make a wrong turn.
Neglecting to Adult
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You ever feel like being an adult is just a constant battle between neglect and responsibility? My houseplants are on one side, cheering for water, while the bills and laundry are on the other, doing a victory dance because I've clearly neglected them. It's like having my own personal domestic Olympics, and let me tell you, my plants are in the lead, but my landlord is closing in for a comeback!
Neglecting the Gym
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I recently realized I've been neglecting the gym. I mean, I pay for that membership like it's a monthly fee to avoid guilt, not for a workout. The treadmill at the gym probably thinks I've ghosted it. It's there, waiting for me, and I'm at home, watching Netflix, thinking, Maybe tomorrow, treadmill, maybe tomorrow. Spoiler alert: it's never tomorrow.
Neglecting the Inbox
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My email inbox is like a needy friend constantly seeking attention. I have thousands of unread emails, and they're probably forming a support group by now. They send me messages like, We've been here for years, and you've never opened our letters. Are you ghosting us, or do you just have commitment issues with the 'delete' button?
Neglecting Appliance Relationships
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You ever feel like your appliances are in a secret club against you? My toaster is mad at me because I keep neglecting it for the microwave. I can feel the tension every time I make toast. The toaster is like, Oh, look who remembered I exist. Enjoy your lukewarm bread, traitor! It's a domestic drama, and I'm caught in the middle.
Neglecting Coffee Etiquette
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I've been neglecting my coffee maker so much that it's considering filing for an upgrade. It's like, You know, other people clean their machines regularly. Some even change the water filter. But no, not you. You just keep pouring in coffee grounds and hope for the best. My coffee maker has seen things, and it's judging me, one mediocre cup at a time.
Neglecting Fashion Sense
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Fashion experts say to dress for success. Well, my wardrobe must think success is synonymous with neglect chic. My clothes are so neglected; they're starting to form alliances against me in the closet. I opened it the other day, and my jeans were whispering to my sweatpants, like, He's choosing you again, huh? Some of us haven't seen daylight in months!
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