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Why did the procrastinator never make it to the comedy show? Because he couldn't 'move on' from his couch!
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I told my old calendar it's time to 'move on.' Now it's just hanging around reminiscing about the good times.
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I tried to break up with my alarm clock, but it just couldn't 'move on' from waking me up every morning.
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My GPS and I broke up. It couldn't 'move on' from constantly telling me to turn around when possible.
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I told my car it's time to 'move on.' Now it won't stop sending me brochures for faster models.
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My keyboard and I broke up. It couldn't 'move on' from the fact that I sometimes hit the wrong keys.
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