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Why did the bicycle break up with the unicycle? It needed to 'move on' to a two-tired relationship!
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Why did the river break up with the stream? It wanted to 'move on' and find a deeper connection.
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Why did the snail break up with the turtle? It wanted to 'move on' at a faster pace!
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Why did the kite break up with the string? It needed to 'move on' and soar to new heights.
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Why did the book break up with the library? It needed to 'move on' and find its own shelf.
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Why did the tree break up with the sapling? It needed space to 'move on' and grow independently.
The Unwritten Manual
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You ever get advice that's so vague, it's like being handed an unwritten manual? I asked my friend for relationship advice, and all he said was, move on. I'm like, Thanks, Captain Obvious! I was hoping for something a bit more specific, like maybe 'learn to juggle,' at least that would've given me a hobby!
Emotional Marie Kondo
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My friend is like the Marie Kondo of emotions. Move on is his version of decluttering the heart. I'm just waiting for him to show up with a emotional garbage bag, asking me if my ex sparks joy. Yeah, sure, buddy, let me just toss those memories in the trash bin of my soul.
Netflix and Nextflix
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Dating in the modern world is like scrolling through Netflix. I told my friend about my last date, and he goes, Dude, just move on. I'm like, I'm not binge-watching a series here! It's more like speed dating with a remote control—Netflix and Nextflix, if you will.
Rejection Olympics
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My buddy thinks he's preparing me for the Rejection Olympics with his move on advice. It's like he's the coach saying, Son, in matters of the heart, you gotta sprint past the Finish Line of Feelings. I didn't know heartbreak came with a gold medal.
Love, Skip, Jump
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Friendship is all about skipping stones across the lake of life, but my pal treats it like a skipping rope competition. Move on is his version of double-dutch, and I'm just trying not to trip over the tangled mess of emotions.
GPS for the Heart
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Relationships are like navigating a complex maze blindfolded. My buddy thinks he's giving me profound advice when he says, move on. It's like he's my emotional GPS, but instead of turn-by-turn directions, he just yells, You have reached your destination! I'm standing in the middle of an emotional roundabout, mate!
Heartbreak Express
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I feel like I'm on a perpetual emotional train, and my friend is the conductor yelling, All aboard the Heartbreak Express—next stop, Move On Station! I'm just sitting here, waiting for the dining car to serve breakup ice cream.
Fast Food, Slow Heart
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My friend's relationship advice is as fast-paced as a drive-thru. He tells me to move on like I'm at a fast-food joint, but love is more like a sit-down restaurant. You can't rush a good meal, and you certainly can't rush matters of the heart. Unless you're ordering pizza—that's the exception.
Wisdom of the Exit Sign
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Ever notice how life advice sometimes sounds like it's coming from an exit sign? Move on is just life's way of telling you there's an off-ramp ahead. But what if I like the scenic route, huh? Maybe I want to take the emotional detour and stop at the nostalgia rest area.
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