5 Jokes About Massage

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Aug 14 2025

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The Paranoid Massage Recipient

Convinced the masseuse is judging every inch of their body
They say a massage is a judgment-free zone, but I'm pretty sure my masseuse is giving my calves the side-eye. I wanted a relaxing experience, not a body image consultation!

The Zen Master Masseur

Struggling to maintain a peaceful ambiance
The Zen master told me to focus on my breathing. I'm trying to relax, and he's like, "Breathe in tranquility, exhale negativity." I'm thinking, "Can I also exhale the weird whale sounds you're making?

The Overly Enthusiastic Masseuse

Struggling to keep it professional
At one point, she asked, "How's the pressure?" I said, "It's good, but I didn't sign up for the 'Life-Flashing-Before-Your-Eyes' massage package. Ease up!

The Time-Challenged Masseuse

Trying to finish the massage within record time
The masseuse said, "We're all about efficiency here." I'm lying there, wondering if they had an assembly line for massages. Are they timing this with a stopwatch? "Next! Shoulders! Go, go, go!

The Social Media Addict Masseuse

Balancing between massaging and maintaining their online presence
The masseuse said, "I'm building my brand." I'm not sure if I went for a massage or a brand partnership. I left with a relaxed body and tagged in a social media post. Mission accomplished, I guess?

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Aug 14 2025

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