4 Lunches Christmas Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Jul 01 2025

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You know it's the holiday season when suddenly everyone becomes a diet expert. "Oh, I can't have that cookie; I'm watching my figure." But the moment someone brings out a tray of Christmas cookies, it's like the calories are on vacation.
You ever notice how those holiday treats have a magical power to erase guilt? It's like the Christmas calories form an alliance with your taste buds and convince your brain that, during December, calories are on strike or something. I'm pretty sure my body has a separate stomach reserved just for holiday snacks.
Speaking of ghosts, Christmas has a way of haunting your fitness resolutions. You start the month with the intention of eating clean and hitting the gym, and then suddenly, the ghost of Christmas past shows up in the form of festive feasts and holiday buffets.
The worst part is the peer pressure. "Come on, it's Christmas! Have another slice of pie!" It's like they're trying to sabotage your New Year's resolution before the year even ends. I'm convinced Santa Claus himself is behind this conspiracy, spreading holiday cheer through extra helpings of mashed potatoes and gravy.
Let's talk about the delicate art of regifting during Christmas lunches. You receive a gift, and it's not exactly your taste or style. So what do you do? You regift that bad boy like it's a game of holiday hot potato.
I once received a fruitcake that looked like it had been passed down through generations. I regifted it the next year, and now I'm pretty sure it's on a world tour. People are passing it around like the Olympics torch, hoping not to get stuck with it for another year.
You ever notice how lunch breaks at work turn into a battlefield during Christmas time? I mean, it's like the Hunger Games, but with Tupperware and questionable office microwaves. You bring in your innocent little sandwich, and suddenly it's caught in the crossfire of someone reheating last night's fish surprise. It's a culinary war zone!
And then there's always that one colleague who insists on turning the break room into a winter wonderland with their holiday-scented candles. I swear, one day, they'll set off the fire alarm, and we'll all be standing outside in the cold, hungry and blaming it on the person who wanted the break room to smell like a cinnamon factory explosion.

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