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Why did Frodo open a bakery in the Shire? Because he wanted to make the best 'Hobbit' forming bread!
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Why did Aragorn get a job at the bakery? Because he wanted to be the 'King of Tarts'!
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What's Gandalf's favorite type of coffee? Mordor! It's always dark and full of flavor!
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Why did the Balrog break up with its girlfriend? It had too much 'fire' in the relationship!
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Why did the hobbit bring a map to the restaurant? He heard they had a 'Lord of the Onion Rings' special!
In LOTR, Gandalf's advice boils down to 'Fly, you fools!' ...Yeah, just get yourself a jetpack, Frodo!
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Gandalf's advice in Lord of the Rings basically sums up to Fly, you fools! Yeah, because the solution to all your problems in Middle-earth is just to grow some wings or maybe ask Santa for a jetpack! Who needs an epic journey when you can take a shortcut through the skies?
In LOTR, Sauron's eye got more screen time than some lead actors in Hollywood!
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Sauron’s eye in Lord of the Rings had more close-ups than some lead actors in Hollywood. I mean, that eye was everywhere, always watching, like the ultimate control-freak director. No, no, no, Frodo, don't look into the camera! Cut! Take 32!
LOTR: The ultimate 'Walk and Talk' movie, where the destination is less important than the conversations along the way.
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Watching Lord of the Rings feels like a cinematic version of a Walk and Talk meeting. You know, where the journey is less about the destination and more about the conversations along the way. We're not going to Mordor, we're having a bonding session, people!
LOTR: The only movie where walking is considered an extreme sport.
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Have you noticed in Lord of the Rings, walking becomes this extreme sport? Frodo and the gang walk more than your Fitbit goal on a lazy Sunday. Forget about taking the ring to Mordor, the real challenge is not getting blisters on that journey!
LOTR: The only story where someone's jewelry causes more drama than a high school prom.
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I mean, come on, who would've thought a simple piece of jewelry could cause more chaos and drama than a high school prom? The only difference is, in LOTR, nobody gets crowned king or queen at the end. They just throw their jewelry into a volcano and call it a day.
Watching LOTR is like playing hide and seek with the world's most powerful piece of jewelry.
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Watching Lord of the Rings is like playing hide and seek with the world's most powerful piece of jewelry. Where's the ring? Oh, Frodo's got it. Oh no, Gollum's got it. Wait, why is everyone fighting over a piece of jewelry? You can just get a new one from Etsy!
LOTR: Where a volcano becomes the most sought-after real estate in Middle-earth.
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In Lord of the Rings, suddenly, a volcano becomes the most sought-after real estate in Middle-earth. Forget about prime location or scenic views, it's all about that lava glow and that hot property value. Literally!
LOTR: Where eagles can save the day, but only when the plot deems it necessary.
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In Lord of the Rings, those giant eagles are like the Uber of Middle-earth, swooping in to save the day. But apparently, they have this strict schedule, like, Sorry, Frodo, we can't pick you up from the Shire, but we'll be right on time when you're stranded on a volcano.
LOTR: Where a hobbit's bravery is directly proportional to the size of his feet.
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You ever notice in Lord of the Rings, a hobbit's bravery seems directly proportional to the size of his feet? Big feet, big courage. I guess in Middle-earth, the saying goes, The bigger the feet, the harder the quest!
LOTR: Lord of the Rings or Length of the Recliner?
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You ever notice how watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy feels like a quest in itself? By the time Frodo throws that ring into Mount Doom, I've gone through my own epic journey from the edge of the couch to the fridge and back. Who needs a ring when you've got a remote control?
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