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Why did the piggy bank go to therapy? It had too many issues with savings.
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Why did the investor bring a ladder to the stock market? He heard the stakes were high!
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Why did the scarecrow become a financial advisor? He was outstanding in his field!
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Why did the wallet go to therapy? It had too many issues with its cash flow.
Money Talks, Mine Just Waves Goodbye
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I recently tried to make a budget, but my money laughed so hard, it gave itself a hernia. Losing money is like playing hide and seek with a toddler – it's gone, and you have no idea where it went, but you know it's having a great time somewhere.
Budgeting Level: Expert at Impulse Purchases
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I thought about getting a financial advisor, but then I remembered I can't even afford advice from my own reflection in a spoon. If I had a dollar for every time I made a financial mistake, I'd be in a better tax bracket.
Bank Account Status: In a Committed Relationship with Zero
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They say money talks, but mine only mumbles complaints. If my bank account had a theme song, it would be the sound of crickets.
Credit Score - Comedy Central
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My credit score is like my sense of direction – I have no idea where it went, and the last time I checked, it was going the wrong way. They say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy chocolate, and that's pretty much the same thing.
Budgeting Goals vs. Reality
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I tried to follow a budget, but my bills laughed so hard, they fell off the table. Losing money is a talent I never knew I had – it's like I have a Ph.D. in accidentally overspending.
Financial GPS Fail
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My bank called me the other day and asked if my credit card was stolen. I said, No, that's just how I swipe it when I'm buying things I can't afford. I'm not saying I'm losing money; I'm just investing in the future bankruptcy of my dreams.
Financial Wisdom from the Clearance Aisle
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I'm not saying I'm bad with money, but I recently bought something on sale that I didn't need just because it was a good deal. My financial plan is like a horror movie – you know it's a bad idea, but you can't help but watch the disaster unfold.
I'm Not Cheap, I'm Economically Challenged
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I tried saving money by buying generic brands, but now my cereal tastes like disappointment and my toothpaste foams rebellion. They say money can't buy happiness, but have you ever seen someone sad on a jet ski? I haven't, because I can't afford one.
Financial Fitness Level: Couch Potato
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I joined a gym to get in shape, but all I'm really working on is my credit card swiping muscles. I'm not saying my wallet is thin, but it went on a diet, and now it's skinnier than a latte made with almond milk.
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