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I recently found an old pair of jeans and thought, "Hey, jackpot!" But all I found was a crumpled receipt and a button that seemed to mock me, saying, "You thought I was a twenty, didn't you?
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Losing money is a lesson in acceptance. You open your wallet, see the emptiness, and think, "Well, I guess I'll just have to embrace the minimalist lifestyle this month.
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Ever notice how when you lose money, it's always the last bill in your wallet? You're left with a lonely single, and your wallet is like, "Sorry, buddy, I'm not into monogamy.
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Losing money is the only time I wish my pockets had a tracking device. "Attention, lost dollars: your owner misses you and is willing to negotiate for your safe return.
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You ever drop money and it turns into a ninja, disappearing faster than you can say, "Wait, where did it go?" I swear, my money is training for the Olympics in stealth mode.
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Losing money is the adult version of hide and seek, but your cash is playing hard to get. "Oh, you thought you could pay bills this month? Think again!
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If losing money burned calories, I'd be the fittest person alive. I'd have abs of steel from the constant workout of slapping my forehead every time I realize I left my wallet at home.
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It's amazing how quickly my pockets become a financial black hole. I put my hand in, searching for change, and it's like I've entered Narnia, but instead of a lion, I find an empty Starbucks cup.
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Losing money is like a magic trick, but instead of applause, you get that sinking feeling in your stomach. "For my next trick, watch as I make this paycheck disappear... ta-da!
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