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The legal warnings on some products are longer than my New Year's resolutions list. I mean, it's like the manufacturers are daring you to ignore them!
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Ever seen a recipe that's longer than the Odyssey? I swear, by the time I'm done preparing the ingredients, I'm already too tired to eat.
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Those "Terms and Conditions" we all agree to without reading? They're longer than the time it takes for me to decide what to watch on Netflix. I mean, by the time I finish reading one, I could have binge-watched a whole series!
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Those shampoo instructions telling you to "lather, rinse, repeat"? Longer than the average attention span of a goldfish. And let's be honest, who’s got time for a repeat in the shower anyway?
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The list of promises a politician makes during campaign season? Longer than the line at the polls! But hey, at least they're consistent in their ability to make things longer than necessary.
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Have you ever read the terms of service for a mobile app? They're longer than the line at a Black Friday sale! It's like, "Sure, I’ll use this app, but only if I can set aside a weekend to read through this novel first!
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You know what's longer than a CVS receipt? A grocery list written by someone with really good intentions. I mean, it's practically a scroll—bread, milk, eggs, then suddenly it's "find the Holy Grail" by the end of it!
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You know what's longer than a doctor's waiting room wait time? The list of side effects they tell you about that one medication. I mean, sure, it’ll cure your headache, but there’s a chance you might grow gills in the process!
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The instructions for some furniture assembly? They're longer than the lifespan of the furniture itself! By the time I'm done deciphering those hieroglyphics, the thing’s already out of style.
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