4 Ki Jokes

Standup-Comedy Bits

Updated on: Aug 09 2025

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You ever notice how "ki" is the silent ninja of the English language? It's like the secret agent that just sneaks into words without you noticing. "Skill," "kite," "bikini" - all innocent words, right? But then you throw in a little "ki," and suddenly it's like, "Surprise! I'm here!"
It's like the silent partner in a comedy duo. You think the "k" and the "i" are doing all the work, but the "ki" is the one pulling the strings, orchestrating the comedic chaos. It's the puppet master of the alphabet.
And let's not forget the real MVP, "knight." That's right, the "ki" is so sneaky; it even makes the "k" silent. It's like the James Bond of letters, license to thrill without making a sound.
So, next time you see a "ki" in a word, just know it's the undercover agent of the English language, silently making everything a little more interesting.
Hey, everybody! So, the other day, I stumbled upon this note from my ghost writer, and it just said "ki." I was like, "What's going on here? Is this a secret message, or did they just get lazy with the keyboard?" I mean, I've seen shorter grocery lists.
But then I realized, "ki" is actually a thing - it's a fruit! You know, like kiwi. Now, I don't know about you, but I feel like kiwi is the diva of the fruit world. It's got this fuzzy exterior, and when you finally manage to cut through it, you get this vibrant green center. It's like the Lady Gaga of the produce section.
I imagine other fruits looking at the kiwi like, "Who does it think it is, trying to outshine us all with its exotic greenery?" I can see an apple saying, "I've been around forever, and no one's calling me kiwitosh." Anyway, next time you see a kiwi, just remember, it's the Beyoncé of the fruit bowl.
So, my ghost writer hands me this note, "ki," and I'm thinking, "Is this some kind of secret code? Are they trying to tell me I'm part of a secret society for comedians?" I mean, we're not the Illuminati; we're the Humorati.
But then I realized "ki" is actually an element on the periodic table. It's like the mysterious cousin of potassium. And here I was, thinking it was just a cool abbreviation for "kidding." Turns out, it's a legit chemical thing. So, I did some research, and I found out ki stands for kryptonite!
Now, I don't know about you, but I always thought kryptonite was green and glowed ominously. But no, it turns out it's just hanging out on the periodic table, minding its own business. Superman's weakness is just chilling between potassium and rubidium. Who knew chemistry was so dramatic?
So, my ghost writer gave me this note, "ki," and I thought, "Maybe they're trying to teach me karate through stand-up comedy notes." I mean, it's a unique approach, right? So, I started practicing my karate moves, and let me tell you, it didn't go well.
I was attempting a high kick, and I ended up kicking the lamp. My karate career lasted about as long as a mayfly's lifespan. I'm pretty sure if I entered a martial arts tournament, my opponent would just have to shout, "Ki!" and I'd be down for the count.
But seriously, who needs karate when you've got the mighty power of dad jokes? I can defeat anyone with a well-timed pun. Watch out, Bruce Lee; here comes Bruce Chuckles.

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