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Joke Types
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What's a judge's favorite kind of sandwich? A fair and just turkey club!
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Why did the judge become a baker? Because he knew how to roll with the verdicts!
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How do judges stay organized? They always keep their verdicts in folders!
Judicial Fitness
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I tried to become a judge once. They said I lacked judicial temperament. I didn't even know that was a thing. Apparently, you can't solve every disagreement with a rock-paper-scissors contest in the courtroom. Who knew?
Judge and GPS: The Ultimate Navigators
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Judges and GPS have something in common: they both tell you where to go, and you better listen. In 500 feet, turn left. That's the GPS. In court, it's more like, In 5 minutes, turn in your appeal. Failure to comply may result in a contempt charge.
Judicial Dilemma
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I've always wondered if judges have trouble deciding what to wear in the morning. Do I go for the classic black robe or the trendy navy blue one? Decisions, decisions. I hope this doesn't impact my sentencing fashion.
The Judge's Playlist
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I heard judges have a special playlist for when they're deliberating. It includes hits like I Fought the Law and Can't Get No Satisfaction. No wonder trials take so long; they're too busy jamming out to make a decision!
Judges' Secret Weapon
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Have you ever noticed that judges always have those little hammers? What's the deal with that? I asked one, and he said it's to maintain order. I thought, I have a teenage son. Can I get one for home use? Preferably one that silences eye-rolling and door slamming.
Judging by the Judge
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You ever notice how judges always look so serious in court? I mean, if I had to wear that wig, I'd be grumpy too. I bet they go home and judge their family's dinner like, I give this meatloaf a six out of ten, needs more flavor, and a touch of justice.
The Silent Judge
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I love how judges give you that stern look, like they can read your mind. I'm standing there thinking, Your Honor, I'm innocent! And the judge is looking at me like, I've seen episodes of 'Criminal Minds' scarier than your thought process.
The Real Judge Judy
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I love Judge Judy. She's like the superhero of small claims court. I wish I could hire her for my everyday problems. Your Honor, my neighbor borrowed my lawnmower and returned it without gas. I can already hear her saying, You're suing for how much? Get out of here with that nonsense!
Judgment Day at the Buffet
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Buffets are like judgment day for food. You stand there, piling your plate, and you can feel the judgment from the other patrons. Look at this guy, taking the last slice of pizza. He should be on trial! Well, maybe if pizza were a crime, I'd be a repeat offender.
Judge and Jury: The Original Power Couple
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Judges and juries are like the original power couple, right? They decide our fate, and we just sit there nervously, hoping they don't break up during the trial. Your Honor, may I approach the bench? And can you also pass me a tissue? I think the jury's verdict made me cry a little.
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