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Technology Trends
When your toaster has a better social life
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I don't trust technology. My fridge is smart enough to tell me when I'm out of milk, but it can't remind me where I left my keys.
Morning People
The ungodly hour
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I don't like morning people because they're always like, "Let's seize the day!" Meanwhile, I'm over here just trying to survive breakfast without stabbing myself with a fork.
Small Talk
Awkward conversations
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I tried to make small talk with my neighbor, but it got weird when I asked about their plants, and they said they didn't have any. Now every time I see them, I feel like I killed their imaginary cactus.
Self-Checkout Struggles
When the machines judge your groceries
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Self-checkout machines need a sarcasm setting. "Unexpected item in the bagging area." Oh, really? I thought I was buying groceries, not smuggling a live penguin.
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