5 Jokes About Holding Hands

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jun 16 2025

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Hand Size Matters

The struggles of significant size differences in hand-holding relationships.
Hand-holding tip for couples with mismatched hand sizes: Invest in some Velcro gloves and call it a day. Compatibility problems solved.

The Sweaty Grip Dilemma

Navigating the awkwardness of sweaty palms.
I tried using antiperspirant on my palms once. Now, instead of holding hands, it's more like playing a game of slip-and-slide.

The Awkward Third Wheel Hand

Including a third wheel when holding hands. Literally.
When your friend insists on holding hands in solidarity, it's less "aww" and more "oww." It's a friendship test: can you survive the hand-holding triangle of doom?

Overly Clingy Couples

When holding hands becomes a 24/7 commitment.
My girlfriend wanted us to hold hands during a horror movie. I didn't know if I was more scared of the movie or the idea of losing circulation in my fingers.

The Mystery of the Unidentified Hand

Accidentally holding a stranger's hand in a crowded place.
I once held hands with a stranger for a solid minute before realizing. Weirdest blind date ever.

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