17 Jokes For Hocus

Puns

Updated on: May 09 2025

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Why did the magician break up with his girlfriend? She saw right through his 'hocus poker face'!
Did you hear about the wizard who turned his cat into a dog? Now he's got a case of 'hocus paws'!
Why did the magician turn his friend into a calendar? Because he wanted to keep track of time with a little 'hocus' focus!
Why did the magician bring a rabbit to the bar? For a round of 'hocus pocus on the rocks'!
Why did the wizard bring a ladder to the magic show? Because he heard the tricks were 'hocus up in the air'!
Why was the magician good at soccer? He had a 'hocus kick'!
Why did the magician take a day off? He needed some 'hocus rest'!
I went to a magic show, and the magician asked for a volunteer. I raised my hand, and he said, 'Hocus pocus, you're now the proud owner of an invisible rabbit.' Great, now I have a pet I can't find, but at least I don't have to clean up after it.
I decided to take up magic to spice up my life. Now, every time I want to leave a boring conversation, I just say 'hocus pocus' and vanish into thin air. It's the ultimate disappearing act, and my social life has never been better.
I tried using 'hocus' to fix my broken TV remote. Now it only changes channels when I recite Shakespeare in a British accent. I call it the Shakespearean Spellcaster – because watching TV shouldn't be easy.
My girlfriend tried to teach me magic tricks, but I told her I can already make my motivation vanish – just say the word 'hocus' and watch my productivity disappear faster than a rabbit in a magician's hat.
I tried using 'hocus' as my password, thinking it would magically protect my online accounts. Turns out, it's not as secure as I thought – now I'm locked out of everything, and my computer won't even pull a disappearing act.
The Hocus Pocus Diet – where the only disappearing act is your willpower. One moment you're saying no to carbs, the next you're chanting 'hocus pocus' over a tub of ice cream.
I tried to impress my date with a magic trick. I said 'hocus pocus' and pulled out a bouquet of flowers. She was less impressed when she realized they were from the gas station next door, and the magic was that they were still alive.
I asked my friend for advice on my failing relationship. He said, 'Just sprinkle some 'hocus pocus' on it.' Now my ex thinks I'm into wizardry, and the only wand I own is for painting walls.
I joined a 'hocus pocus' support group. We meet every week to discuss our failed attempts at making things disappear. Last week, one guy tried to make his student loans vanish – let's just say, they're still haunting him.
I tried using 'hocus' to fix a leaky faucet. Turns out, magic spells don't have a plumbing specialty. Now my kitchen looks like it's auditioning for a water-based reality show.

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