18 Her Killer Jokes

Puns

Updated on: Jul 01 2025

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What did the murderer say when asked about their cooking skills? 'I'm good at making dishes disappear!'
Why did the murderer bring a map to the desert? To locate the perfect spot for a 'sand'-trap!
What did the murderer say to their favorite shirt? 'You're to dye for!'
What did the murderer do with their math test? They solved it, literally!
What did the murderer say to the broken pencil? 'You have no point anymore!'
Why did the killer bring a ladder to the crime scene? They wanted to take their killing spree to a whole new level!
Why did the murderer break up with their calculator? It had too many 'digits' to deal with!
What did the murderer say after finishing a good book? 'That ending was to die for!

Ghostly Grudges

I met a ghost the other day, still fuming about their killer. You won't believe the nerve! They didn't even recycle! I mean, priorities when you're a vengeful spirit, right?

Posthumous Petty

Ghosts and their vendettas, am I right? I was murdered, but before I move on, I want to make sure my killer never finds a parking spot. Ever. Priorities, folks!

Spectral Snark

You've got to admire a ghost's dedication. Sure, I could move onto the next realm, but my killer hasn't seen the last of me. Oh, and can someone tell them they left the oven on?

Supernatural Standoff

You know what's more dramatic than a soap opera? Ghosts trying to settle scores from beyond the grave. I was killed with a candlestick in the library, and now I have to haunt every book in existence!

Phantom Feuds

If you think family feuds are bad, imagine being haunted by a ghost with a grudge. Sure, Aunt Mildred was a bit much, but at least she didn't have a vendetta against her killer's favorite cereal.

The Ghostly Grudge

You ever notice how ghosts always seem to have unfinished business? Like, I was murdered, but first, let me haunt the same house for a century! Honestly, if I were a ghost, I'd be too busy hunting down my killer to care about moving chairs.

Haunted House Regrets

You've heard of haunted houses, right? Oh, don't go in there, it's haunted! Yeah, by Karen, who got killed by her killer. Now, she's just waiting for the right moment to knock over your coffee mug.

Eerie Excuses

If you think you're having a bad day, imagine being a ghost and still making excuses. Yeah, I can't move on to the afterlife yet. I've got to haunt my killer, and then maybe take a pottery class.

Spooky Revenge Saga

Imagine being a ghost and having to attend ghost therapy. So, what's your issue? Well, my killer didn't like my lasagna, and now I'm eternally ticked off! Talk about holding onto some old beef!

Crime Scene Ghosting

Imagine being a ghost and still holding a grudge from the afterlife. Listen, I know I'm dead, but Dave, who killed me in '89, is still on my naughty list! I mean, you're already dead, lighten up!

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