5 Happy New Year 2016 Jokes

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Jun 12 2024

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New Year's Resolutions

The struggle to stick to resolutions
I decided to give up on my resolution to be more organized. Now I just embrace the chaos. At least I know where everything is – somewhere under the pile of things I swore I'd deal with later.

New Year's Eve Parties

The hype versus the reality
New Year's Eve parties are the only place where it's socially acceptable to count down the seconds until you can leave. I'm not saying I'm antisocial, but my New Year's resolution is to avoid resolutions.

Calendar Realization

Coming to terms with the passage of time
Remember Y2K, when we thought computers would crash in the year 2000? Now I'm just waiting for 2020 to apologize for all the chaos it caused. We thought it was the future, but it turned out to be a Choose Your Own Disaster adventure.

Holiday Hangover

Recovering from the holiday season
You know you're in the holiday hangover when you look at your credit card statement and think, "Did I buy gifts for my family, or did I just adopt a small village in the North Pole?" Santa, I need a refund!

Gym Goers in January

The sudden influx of resolution-driven gym attendees
I overheard someone at the gym say, "I'm here to work on my summer body." I'm just here to work on my "able to open a pickle jar without help" body.

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