5 Handymen Jokes

Double Meaning Jokes

Updated on: Apr 23 2025

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The Confused Homeowner

Trying to explain the problem to the handyman
Handyman tip: If a homeowner is drawing diagrams to explain a problem, it's either a complex plumbing issue or a failed attempt at Pictionary.

The Time-Traveling Handyman

Taking forever to finish a simple task
I asked the handyman to paint a wall, and he handed me a calendar and said, "I'll finish it by the end of the month." Dude, I need a painted wall, not a countdown to New Year's Eve.

The Paranoid Handyman

Suspecting every innocent noise or object
The handyman saw a shadow and exclaimed, "That's a sign of a faulty light fixture." No, it's a sign that the sun exists, and we're on planet Earth. Maybe I should have hired a handyman from Area 51.

The Clueless Handyman

Misinterpreting the problem and making it worse
I asked the handyman to patch up a small hole in the wall, and now it looks like we're preparing for a medieval siege. Thanks, buddy, but I just wanted a wall, not a fortress.

The Overly Helpful Neighbor

Offering unsolicited advice to the handyman
When the handyman arrived, my neighbor handed him a 10-page printout of "Handy Tips from a Pro." I didn't know fixing a leaky pipe required a thesis defense.

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