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A guy walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, 'What's with the steering wheel?' The guy replies, 'I don't know, but it's driving me nuts!
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A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder. The bartender looks at the newt and says, 'What an interesting pet!' The newt replies, 'I'll have a beer, please.
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a sign that reads 'Don't tell jokes about sodium.' He approaches the bartender and says, 'Hey, did you hear about the guy who got thrown out of a bar for telling a sodium joke?' The bartender responds, 'Na, I haven't.
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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. The bartender gives it to him.
The Confused Duck
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A guy walks into a bar, and he's holding a duck under his arm. The bartender looks at him and says, Hey, you can't bring pets in here! The guy looks surprised and says, Pet? This is my emotional support duck. The bartender, puzzled, asks, Emotional support duck? The guy nods and says, Yeah, he quacks me up when I'm feeling down.
The Psychic Parrot
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So, this guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot squawks, Hey, bartender, I predict you'll give us free drinks! The bartender, skeptical, says, Really? Let me test this. He pours two drinks and slides them over. The parrot smirks and says, Told you, easy money! The guy adds, Well, the parrot also predicted I'd get kicked out of the last bar.
The Invisible Man
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A guy walks into a bar, completely invisible. The bartender looks him up and down and says, Well, that's a new one. What can I get for you? The invisible man replies, I'll have a glass of your finest transparent punch. The bartender raises an eyebrow and says, Coming right up, or should I say, not coming right up?
The Time-Traveling Chicken
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So, a guy walks into a bar with a chicken. The bartender asks, What's with the chicken? The guy says, Oh, this chicken can time travel. The bartender scoffs, Time travel? Prove it! The guy grins and says, Okay, watch this. He sets the chicken on the bar, and suddenly, it disappears. The bartender, wide-eyed, asks, Where did it go? The guy chuckles, To the 'eggstra' dimension, my friend.
The Talking Dog
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So, a guy walks into a bar with a dog that can talk. The bartender, amazed, asks, Can your dog really talk? The guy grins and says, Yep, watch this. He turns to the dog and asks, What's on top of a house? The dog replies, Roof! The bartender, still skeptical, asks, Okay, what's the opposite of smooth? The dog confidently says, Rough! The bartender, now annoyed, says, I bet he can't answer a complex question. The guy smirks and asks the dog, Who's the greatest baseball player of all time? The dog thinks for a moment and says, Ruth! The bartender throws them out, muttering, Smart-ass dog.
The Penguin Walk
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A guy walks into a bar wearing a penguin suit. The bartender looks at him and says, What's with the penguin outfit? The guy grins and says, Oh, I'm just here for the happy hour. I heard it's the coolest place in town.
The Magic Pencil
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This guy walks into a bar and pulls out a magic pencil. Curious, the bartender asks, What's so magic about that pencil? The guy says, Watch this! He draws a door on the wall, opens it, and walks through. The bartender, amazed, asks, Can I try? The guy hands him the pencil, and the bartender excitedly draws a door, opens it, and walks into the broom closet. The guy smirks and says, Oops, forgot to mention, the magic only works if you're not holding a broom.
The Talking Mirror
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This guy walks into a bar, goes straight to the restroom, and starts talking to the mirror. The bartender, puzzled, asks, What are you doing? The guy replies, Oh, I'm just having a chat with my best friend. The bartender looks around and says, I don't see anyone. The guy smirks and says, Well, he's a bit reflective, but he's a great listener.
The Bar Bet
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You know, a guy walks into a bar, and he says to the bartender, I bet you $100 I can make your horse laugh. The bartender looks at him and says, You're on. So the guy walks over to the horse, whispers something in its ear, and the horse bursts into laughter. The bartender is in shock, and the guy takes the $100. As he's leaving, the bartender asks, Okay, what did you say to make the horse laugh? The guy smirks and replies, I told him I have a bigger carrot than he does.
The Silent Jukebox
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a jukebox that's not playing any music. Confused, he asks the bartender, Why isn't the jukebox working? The bartender replies, It only plays music for people who can dance. The guy, feeling challenged, says, Oh, I can dance! He starts dancing, but the jukebox remains silent. The bartender smirks and says, Looks like it's also a lie detector.
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