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Why did Eli bring a pencil to the party? He wanted to draw some attention!
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Why did Eli bring a ladder to the bar? He heard the drinks were on the house!
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Did you hear about Eli's attempt to fly? It didn't take off because it was plane silly!
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Why did Eli become a gardener? Because he had a natural talent for 'growing' on people!
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Did you hear about Eli's invention to make pencils disappear? It's pointless!
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What's Eli's favorite dance move? The salsa - because it's 'sauce'-some!
Eli's Superpower
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You know what Eli's superpower is? Making the simplest tasks look like a superhero mission. He once took an hour to tie his shoes, and when he was done, he looked at me and said, Not all heroes wear capes. No, Eli, but they should know how to tie their shoes!
Eli's Travel Plans
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Eli said he wanted to travel the world. So he started with Google Earth. When I asked how his trip was, he said, I got lost in the zoom function. Classic Eli, always exploring without leaving his couch!
Eli's Relationship Advice
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Eli gave me relationship advice once. He said, Treat her like a queen. So I bought her a crown, and she asked if I was feeling okay. Thanks, Eli, for making me the king of awkward!
Eli's Dance Moves
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Ever seen Eli dance? It's like watching a penguin try to figure skate. You can't help but clap, not because it's good, but because you're amazed he hasn't fallen yet!
Eli's Cooking Skills
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Eli invited me over for dinner once. He said he was cooking. I arrived, and he handed me a can opener. Make yourself at home, he said. Thanks, Eli, for letting me be the chef and the guest!
Eli's Fitness Routine
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Eli's idea of a fitness routine is doing ten push-ups every morning. And by ten push-ups, I mean he pushes the snooze button on his alarm ten times. That's how he stays in shape, folks!
Eli's Fortune Telling
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Eli tried his hand at fortune-telling once. He told me my future was bright, but then he handed me a flashlight. Thanks, Eli, for lighting up my path to nowhere!
Eli's Gardening Adventures
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Eli tried gardening once. He planted a tree and expected instant shade. When I told him it takes years, he said, That's what the microwave is for. Oh, Eli, if only life came with a fast-forward button!
Eli's Secret Recipe
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You ever meet someone named Eli and think, That guy has a secret recipe to life. And then you find out it's just his grandma's meatloaf recipe, and you're like, Eli, that's not a life secret, that's just lunch!
Eli's Mysterious Disappearances
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Every time Eli walks into a room, he's gone for hours. It's like he's playing a real-life game of hide and seek, but he's the only one who knows he's playing. We're all just sitting there like, Did Eli just vanish, or did he finally find Waldo?
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