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Eli's Tech Trouble
Eli's constant struggle with technology and gadgets
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Eli got a fitness tracker, and now he's obsessed with hitting 10,000 steps a day. He was pacing around the living room at midnight, saying, "I can't go to bed until I reach my goal." Eli, it's a step tracker, not a curfew enforcer.
Eli at the Grocery Store
Eli's struggle with deciphering organic and non-organic produce
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We were in the vegetable aisle, and Eli was inspecting a cucumber like he was Sherlock Holmes solving a case. He whispered, "To spray or not to spray, that is the question." I didn't realize grocery shopping with him would turn into an existential crisis.
Eli's Cooking Catastrophe
Eli's attempt at cooking and the chaos that ensues
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Eli called me in a panic, saying he burned the toast. I asked him how that's even possible; it's a toaster. He said, "I thought it was a tanning bed for bread." Eli, your toast looks more like a sunburn victim.
Eli's Fitness Fiasco
Eli's hilarious attempts at getting in shape
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Eli bought a home workout DVD and said, "This is it; I'm getting ripped." Ten minutes later, he was on the couch, eating chips, and watching the instructor do push-ups. I guess that's the new definition of a "watch and learn" workout.
Eli's Dating Dilemma
Eli's struggle with online dating profiles and expectations
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Eli's profile says he's into fitness, and by fitness, he means he can eat an entire pizza while watching a workout video. His date looked at him and said, "You're not what I expected." Eli replied, "Well, neither is the pizza; it said it serves four.
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