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You know those "don't smoke" ads that are like, "Smoking can reduce your life expectancy by 10 years"? I always wonder, do they mean 10 years overall or just the years spent searching for a lighter?
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You know, the hardest part about being a non-smoker isn't resisting cigarettes; it's gracefully declining when someone offers you one. It's like performing a mini Oscar-worthy act every time. "I don't smoke, but thank you for the lung-shaped gift.
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Non-smokers should have a secret handshake or a code phrase. Imagine passing another non-smoker in a smoky area and exchanging a knowing nod like, "Hang in there, fellow oxygen enthusiast. We're in this together.
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Non-smokers have this uncanny ability to find the one spot in a park or a beach where the breeze turns against them, delivering a surprise dose of smoke from a mile away. It's like nature's way of saying, "You thought you were safe? Think again!
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Ever notice how people who don't smoke become instant detectives when they smell a whiff of smoke on someone? "Aha! You've been in the vicinity of a lit cigarette! Your secret's out!" Sherlock Holmes would be proud.
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Have you ever noticed how the world turns into an obstacle course when you're a non-smoker? Dodging puffs of smoke on the sidewalk should be an Olympic sport. "I don't smoke, but I've got gold in sidewalk slalom.
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Isn't it weird how smoking areas at airports have this mystical force field? People who've never touched a cigarette suddenly feel the urge to step in and be part of this exclusive, cough-filled club. "I don't smoke, but I do inhale secondhand guilt.
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You ever notice how everyone has that one friend who's anti-smoking, but as soon as they hit the dance floor, they're puffing on their "invisible cig" like it's a prop in a music video? "I don't smoke, but my moves are fire!
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It's funny how smokers have mastered the art of being on a first-name basis with strangers. "Hey, got a light?" is the universal icebreaker. "I don't smoke, but I do have the spark for new friendships.
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